Meet a Sexual Predator
Robert Eugene Newberry, Born August 13, 1941, Died March 8, 2024
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
My ex-wife was sexually abused and molested by her father, the late Bob Newberry, also known as Bobby Gene to his friends. Bob lived and died in Bland, Virginia.
Why is this my story to tell?
Well, my ex wife, his daughter, shared this trauma with me, along with telling me that her cousins also molested her, and for her, it affected her emotional unavailability, and it affected me and her/our children. She was unable to be who she could have been because of this trauma.
On the surface, everybody thought Bob was easy-going and laid back. Even I had no clue to this secret buried in his past or in the memory of my ex wife.
And although I love her dearly, she was (in hindsight) so locked in trauma from this horrific set of events that she was unable to truly blossom into the precious thing she was destined to be.
It tore our marriage apart. It caused a condition of her never being able to allow herself to admit wrongdoing. It caused her to create narrative that kept her safe at the expense of others. She emphasized that her core operation was to keep quiet… My blood boils.
And I’ve wrestled with putting this out there, but I’ll be damned if I can sit one more day with this in secret.
There is a cost to the sexual abuse of children. It lasts generations. And in this case, it has cost me everything dear to me.
If you know me, I cannot abide the status quo. I cannot abide the white elephants in the room.
This is my story, because sexual abuse doesn’t just harm the first victim. There are subsequent victims, and I believe that myself, and my children have been victim of Bob Newberry’s robbery of my ex-wife’s spirit and emotional health.
May he rot in hell.
[The irony of this is that my daughters, in a display of their hatred and contempt for me, chose to adopt the Newberry family name, and in doing so, chose the name of a sexual predator.]
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. (Robert Frost)
I set my intention for us all to recover from this horrendous chain of events. I’ll always love her and our children.
P.D., Jay Vincent [Shore]
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This abuser though dead has hell to contend with. This monster has left a trail of damage that you have attempted to describe. The visible (like the tip of the iceberg) is only part of the damage he has caused. This is an important aspect of abuse that escapes the public. Thank you for being brave enough to speak the truth of your injuries caused by this monster.